If you’ve been wondering how to find happiness; maybe you should think about taking a different approach. As the saying goes, “if nothing changes then nothing changes.” Something I have discovered is that true long-lasting happiness is a by-product of living a life in tune with the highest ideals we have for ourselves. Take a moment and think about who you really want to be. This does not mean rich, famous, or successful professionally, what we’re really talking about here is character traits. Do you strive to be more altruistic or less selfish? That’s certainly something to strive for and I can tell you from experience, the closer you get to living up to those ideals the more inner happiness you will achieve.

Long-lasting happiness comes with finding an inner peace within ourselves that can sustain us through all emotional hardships and triumphs. Finding happiness can be misleading; we don’t actually find happiness. It is a by-product of living a well lived life! Strive towards your ideal self and you will no longer have to chase after happiness; it will find you.

There’s a great quote by Gandhi which says, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” That sure sounds simple enough right? As you probably know, it isn’t that simple. Think about how your inner voice talks to everyday; is it constantly telling you you’re not good enough? Take a moment and listen to this inner voice and what it’s telling you. Now think about how you talk to and motivate a close friend; are they similar or different? Meaning, do you talk to yourself as you would your best friend? Are you kind, caring, and supportive of yourself? If not, that’s one place you can start towards finding the inner peace that is so helpful in finding happiness.

Determine what you’re ideal self is and start taking action that will get you closer to that goal. As you work towards this goal, make a point to be more supportive and kind to yourself. These are just a few simple things you can start doing right now to increase the chances of happiness finding you!

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The thing that some people get worried about is the fact that so many of these marriages are now ending in divorce. At the first sign of problems in marriage some couples throw in the towel and head for the divorce courts were they divide up the belongings they have accumulated and fight over who gets to keep the kids, like they are some sort of inanimate object that can be carted around by whoever win.

Its strange that we spend so much time setting up our lives together, spending so much time on the marriage ceremony and give up on it so quickly when 50 years ago we would have done anything to keep the partnership going. It seems in a lot of instances that no sooner have the DIY wedding invites been sent out to the guests and already the relationship is starting to crumble.

Where has this effort gone that we used to put into keeping a marriage together, or did it really ever exist. Its possible that the happy days of marriage were all an illusion and that the only reason divorce rates were so low was that couples were scared to break up because society itself was so strict and people were scared to break the rules.

These days we might try and postpone a breakup for the sake of the kids but in the past we did so because to divorce was to be seen as a failure in life, breaking the rules of society and those of God. These days of course the inhabitants of the UK are a little more relaxed about their religious views so we don’t have the same fear of eternal damnation if we suddenly realise that we don’t like our partner quite as much as we once did.

In my view its a good thing that we feel we can split up if we are no longer happy in our marriage, I wouldn’t someone to feel trapped in a relationship which made them miserable. 50 odd years is a long time to remain attached to one person, perhaps too long.

In the past, when life expectancies were shorter it was perfectly reasonable to get married and expect to be with someone for the rest of your lives if one of you was going to be dead in 15 years. These days getting married to the wrong person would mean fifty years of constant torture, not something I would wish on anyone. The person you fall asleep with each night should make your life more beautiful and if that isn’t the case you should be free to split up if you want, just try not to have kids before you find that out.

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